There is a moment when life strips away all your pretenses. For us, that moment had four paws, a black-and-white tuxedo coat, and a veterinary prognosis that turned our entire world upside down.
When our little lad, Ruby, became poorly, we didn’t retreat inward. Instead, we put him in a pet pram and hit the paths around Cheshire. We started writing. We started filming. And, honestly? We expected to shout into the digital void. Our typical YouTube videos usually gathered fewer than 100 views.
Then, we shared the raw truth of our journey with Ruby.
947 views later—an 847% spike in engagement—we realized something profound.
People didn’t tune in for a polished, hyper-curated lifestyle vlog. They tuned in for the unfiltered reality of a family navigating a crisis with humility, love, and a bit of standard Gen X resilience.
Caring for Ruby forced us to slow down, quite literally. It led us to explore new paths right on our doorstep, and it drove us back into the kitchen. We found solace in the slow, rhythmic comfort of home-cooked meals, turning our kitchen into a sanctuary of slow-cooker recipes designed to feed the soul when the mind was heavy.
We didn’t share our story to show off. We shared it as a beacon.
When you are going through the absolute ringer, the isolation can feel heavy enough to crush you. But by putting our vulnerability out there, we found a community. We want our journey—the chaos, the cooking, the pram walks, and the quiet moments of grief and love—to stand as a reminder to anyone else walking a dark path:
You are not navigating the chaos alone. Pull up a chair, put something on the slow cooker, and keep moving forward.
Brave For The Other — Volume 1 (Adult Edition) Listening time: 20 minutes · Also available as a children’s edition Long description Some stories are written. This one was walked. Brave For The Other — Volume 1 is the adult companion to the children’s picture book
of the same name — the unflinching version, the one told after the lights go down and the pram wheels stop turning. In twenty raw, cinematic minutes, Lance and Carolyn pull back the curtain on the year that asked everything of them — and on the three cats who quietly held the line. There’s Ruby, the black-and-white tuxedo tom: cantankerous, impossibly resilient, the kind of cat who looks at a terminal prognosis and decides he isn’t finished yet. Moon, the soft one, who gives love away like it costs her nothing.
Pic: The Luxury Of TouchPic: “Ruby illustration. One night, I recorded a portion of this audio and heard him behind me at 2:00 AM. I felt like a hypocrite reciting his praises and ignoring him, so I turned around and wondered if he could understand. Instantly, I sat him beside me. Not a herd of wild horses would have me believe that he wasn’t absorbing the melancholy prognosis from the vet.”
Here is the clip .
Pic: She looked appallingly sad when I found her. She Pic: Adorable
And Millie, the tortoiseshell — only ever touched gently, head-first, because somebody before them got it wrong, and she has not forgotten. This is the origin story behind LC Chaos and Home. A small Cheshire life. A blue pram. A cloud blanket. And the lanes of Warrington, Hillcliffe and Stockton Heath in sun and rain — nearly nine weeks of long walks after the vet said weeks, not months. Ruby curled into a tight ball most days, almost weightless. Then someone would say the word pram — and to their astonishment, he’d uncurl, find his feet, and go and wait beside it. Every single time. Volume 1 doesn’t flinch from the strain. The pensive ache of wanting a break, a holiday, anything — and not being able to leave. The quiet recalibration of two people who realised they had become entirely centric to one small life, and that the only way through was outward — branching into new realms, learning AI, building something that could carry the story when they couldn’t carry it alone. It is, at its heart, the simplest equation of all: two people and a promise. One small step. One kind thing. Brave for the other. For listeners of memoir-led audio in the vein of Glennon Doyle, Matt Haig and Helen Macdonald — and for anyone who has ever loved something so much they had to learn a new version of themselves to keep loving it well. The children’s edition tells it gently, with paw prints and sunshine. This one tells it true. Press play. Meet Ruby, Moon and Millie. Be brave for the other.
Millie is currently observing me through the wooden balusters of the stairs, her eyes fixed in a stare as wide as a politician caught in a mid-session scandal.
She possesses an uncanny ability to sense when “all is not well”—usually a precursor to her own brand of intervention. After a brief pause to gauge exactly how receptive (or vulnerable) I am, she charges at the staircase spindles. She treats them with the same utter contempt a seasoned lobbyist has for parliamentary rules, barging through with weighty shoulders like a prisoner reaching through the bars to demand immediate—and unconditional—attention.
To the uninitiated, the natural impulse would be to offer a hand. A grave tactical error. If you actually know her, you’re well aware that hands are not her primary language; in fact, attempting to use one might result in you losing it entirely. However, should you offer your head, she instantly transforms. She becomes a plush, velvet cushion—an immediate, responsive safe harbour in a world of chaos. Her fur is quite possibly the closest thing to high-grade cushioning velvet currently available outside of a bespoke Savile Row tailor.
Cats don’t need words to make themselves understood—they’ve mastered a whole language of looks, movements, and tiny habits that say everything. Once you start noticing these subtle signals, you realise your cat has been “talking” to you all along.
The Language of the Tail
A cat’s tail is like a mood barometer. Held high with a little curve at the tip means a happy, confident greeting. A flicking or lashing tail usually signals irritation—often when you’ve stopped stroking them too soon. And when they gently wrap their tail around you, it’s their version of a quiet hug.
Slow Blinks and Soft Eyes
A slow blink from your cat is one of the clearest signs of trust. Often called a “cat kiss,” it’s their way of showing they feel safe with you. Try it back—you might just get one in return.
Head Bumps and Gentle Nudges
When a cat nudges you with their head, they’re marking you as safe and familiar. It’s affection, but also a little claim: you’re part of their world.
Following You Around If your cat shadows you from room to room, it’s not by accident. It’s attachment. They want to be near you, even if they pretend they’re just passing through. Millie our tabby does this and it’s so endearing it makes me feel like she’s keeping an eye on me. She loves being in the kitchen when I’m cooking, surveying the scene and “helping”
Kneading and Purring
That soft kneading—“making biscuits”—is a comforting behaviour from kittenhood. Paired with purring, it usually means your cat feels completely content and secure. The number of shops we go in trying to find the ultimate soft Cookie pillow has been immense- FYI the JYSK fur one is a winner in our house along with the Kelly Hoppen/QVC zone !!
The Sit-On-Everything Habit
Books, laptops, clean washing—if it’s yours, it’s fair game. Cats place themselves where your attention is. It’s not inconvenience—it’s connection.
Our Three Cats, Three Different Voices
Living with Ruby, Millie, and Moon has shown us that no two cats communicate the same way. Each of them has their own little “language,” and once you tune into it, you start to understand exactly what they’re saying.
Ruby is our whirlwind. Our first cat .. we moved into a new house and soon noticed this cat around all the time – turns out the previous owners moved house , didn’t want her and left her behind . She’s confident, full of energy, and not at all shy about making herself known. If she wants attention, you’ll hear about it—loudly. She is a real character. She is our soul mate, our emotional support animal and the one who makes herself indispensable – Ruby is in fact a he … which we found out about a year after she adopted us but we can’t get out of the she habit – so he/she is Ruby, Reuben , Deubs Rubes and answers to them all, especially if food is involved !
Her miaowing isn’t just noise, it’s a demand, a conversation, and sometimes a full-blown announcement that she is the main character in that moment.
With Ruby, there’s no guessing—you always know. She is a number one diva !
Moon is the quiet observer. She doesn’t need noise to be noticed. Instead, she simply appears. You’ll be reading or on your phone, and suddenly she’s there—gently climbing onto your chest, settling herself right in your space, often directly on top of whatever has your attention. Then come those beautiful, steady eyes. No sound, no fuss—just a silent but very clear message: “I’m more important than that.” When we first got Moon, she spent her days hiding under the kitchen table or tucked away under the bed. That nervousness hasn’t completely disappeared—she can still be a little jumpy if you walk too close—but it’s just a trace of her past. At heart, she’s incredibly gentle. And interestingly, despite her quiet nature, the other cats never seem to challenge her. There’s something about her calm presence that holds its own.
Millie is our surprise. At first, we thought she might be a bit scary, but she’s actually just wonderfully unique. She’s like a little dog in cat form. She’ll come up and head nudge you with real purpose, showing affection in a way that feels very much on her terms. She’s not keen on hands, which we think may come from her previous home, and it’s something we respect. Millie has clear boundaries—but she still finds her own way to show love, and that’s what makes her so special. When I was going through some worries early this year she took to sleeping next to me in bed . She jumps up when the lights go off and snuggles her little body into the curves of mine and we go to sleep cuddling .
She is the first one to great us when we get home pounding down the stairs to stick her head through the bannister for a head rub
Listening Without Words
Cats may not speak our language, but they are constantly communicating.
The cats don’t have an awful lot to do with each other , we had dreams of them cuddling up together and playing but it was not to be .. The only exception is dinner time when Ruby & Moon gang up on us looking like a pair of East end villains with their piercing eyes
Whether it’s a tail flick, a slow blink, a loud miaow, or a quiet stare, every action means something.
And when you live with cats like Ruby, Millie, and Moon, you realise something quite special—once you learn their language, the silence isn’t silence at all.
At two minutes and ten seconds into the song “Beautiful Boy” by the incredible John Lennon—a song penned about his son, Sean Lennon—he delivers a poignant lyric:
“Before you cross the street take my hand. Life is what happens to you whilst you’re busy making other plans.”
In an article written by my beautiful girl, Carolyn, entitled “Love, Values, and a Life That Was Enough,” she talks with such emotional value about Mick, her fabulous grandfather. She mentions how, years later, she would remember how he held her hand, exemplifying total care. Without words, he reiterated that he was there for her; under his guiding eye, her safety, happiness, and security were of paramount importance. What was lovely was that I had expressed a real need for what we wrote to be authentic—not always about “Insta-life.” As the famous quote goes, “There’s life, and then there’s Insta-life.” When I identified with the actions that provided that security, and accepted that I held her hand almost instinctively, I knew upon reading her piece that it was the epitome of authenticity. When I awake in the night, before a 3:00 am quick scuttle to the bathroom, I watch my sleeping beauty. No matter how deeply asleep I convince myself she is, if I place my hand inches from hers without touching, her hand will—as if by magic—reach blindly, sometimes frantically, for mine. Years ago, I knew someone who was a masseur and a Feng Shui expert—very spiritual. I was skeptical then that people could give off an energy without words. However, when I absorb this spectacle, it’s like an ingrained life lesson allowing me to register that energy indeed “does” exist, and touch is an imperative, essential “must-have.” Moreover, the lyrics in Lennon’s song—“Before you cross the street take my hand. Life is what happens to you whilst you’re busy making other plans”—run parallel to my own experience. But let’s get our priorities right: go read the beautiful piece “Love, Values, and a Life That Was Enough” on this blog. For my part, regarding the beauty of a cat with “Mick’s eyebrows” and the charting of days out walking miles with the pram, there is just a little extract about those mesmerising eyebrows. Life is energy, and Ruby’s energy will always be totally, utterly authentic and very unique.
So we have three wonderful cats Ruby, Moon and Millie .. all of them were abandoned sadly. Ruby was left behind when her owner moved and didn’t take her with them
.. how someone could do that I don’t know .. Moon was abandoned in a garden and lived in the freezing cold shoved in between a garden fence and a garage wall . Millie was dumped by the local supermarket . All three have been transformed by love.
When we moved we went to live on a busy main road and so made the reluctant decision to keep them inside . Moon and Millie are both very nervous cats who didn’t want to go outside but Rubes was a different kettle of fish. She is a nosy cat and doesn’t have a sense of fear so it was how to strike that balance.
We found the balance – instead of walking the dog we walk the cat !!
This has been the perfect solution for her and we found her this amazing lightweight harness from Amazon
It’s meant for a small dog but fits our chunky monkey really well and she actually walks in it rather than sort of shuffle like she has done in previous ones.
As Ruby is unfortunately not in the best of health we have just discovered the cat pram and it’s the best £45 we have spent ! It means we can go on family walks and take her with us – she gets her fresh air and the chance to indulge in her natural nosiness and also means we can all stay out for longer !! The pram is meant for dogs but again is perfect for Ruby.. it’s so popular that she sits by it waiting to go out 😹😹
The pram itself is lightweight and folds away . Was very easy to assemble and is sturdy , we have tested it on pavements roads and even up hills and it’s come up trumps . Has a cup holder and also a small storage shelf underneath
The only downside is that you don’t get anywhere quick as everyone stops to look and admire our beautiful cat !!!! Ruby gets the admiration she deserves, a chance to take in the world and fresh air the same time. It’s funny when people look in the pram expecting to see a baby and out of the pram pops Our Rubes .. it’s truly priceless and we cannot believe we didn’t buy one before !
We also got this super Cute elephant blanket to keep her warm and easily washable in case of accidents as we soon found out to our peril !!!
LCChaosandhome 